Our Aging Parents101

They say that hindsight is 20/20. I believe there is truth to this saying. In this hub, I feel compelled to touch on some areas that deserves close attention when it comes to our aging parents. I realize all families are different, However, in looking back, I began to see areas where I needed to pay closer attention to in our relationships to our aging parents.

Whenever there was any family get together, it seemed that mama's house was the central hub of activity. We always congregated at mama's house whether it be for a just a cup of coffee or for a short visit or for any holiday or cookout. They always looked forward to it. The dining room was the staging area. When it came to the cleanup, she always insisted on cleaning up herself. Later on, only then, did I realized how much work and expense was involved when it came to cooking a meal for the family and cleaning up afterward.

Rule # 1--Never ask mama for a recipe.

She was a great cook as always cooking up something special. I remember the smell of homemade biscuits hot out of the oven at breakfast time. One day as I watched her, I noticed how easy it looked to make biscuits, so I asked her for the recipe. Not thinking, I realized she was from the "old school". She began to explain how you use a pinch of this and a pinch of that, but not too much. Add some of this and that. Looking around, I never see any measuring cups. I believe it would be easier to figure out Einstein's theory of relativity. than to figure out what went in the making of mama's homemade biscuits.

Rule #2--Make the time with our parents count.

We all should have memories of our family cookouts and just plain get-togethers. Don't leave it up to just remembering. Take plenty of pictures and take the time to write on back of the pictures the circumstances and settings. I remember on one occasion, when we was at mama's house, we were playing a game at the dining table. By this time, my Dad was well up in age and hard of hearing. Mama would always take care of him. Sometimes by his hard hearing he perceived it as her sounding domineering. She hollered at him, "Ogden, wipe your nose!!" He looked at her with a serious expression. He purposely raised his index finger on top of his nose like playing a violin and went back and forth. Every family member that was at the table busted out in hard laughter. There was howls of laughter as we tried to contain ourselves. There was no containing this though. It turned out to be a memory that is well embedded in our minds for years to come.

Rule# 3--Pay attention to what they are saying.

As a youth growing up, all I wanted to do was to play. I did not take the words of my parents to heart. In fact, as any other youth, at the age of 17 I thought I had all the answers. (Just to find out I didn't). Oh if I would have listened, how much heartache and problems could have been avoided later down the road. I remember Dad telling stories of the depression era and some of the hardships he had to endure. The booming old sawmill towns in the East Texas Big Thicket where workers were paid by tokens to be redeemed at the General store, now is a bygone era where old towns are gone except for the remnants of a rusty railroad track in a grown up forest.

In his very conservative lifestyle, I can see how the depression shaped the way our parents lived. Please don't get me wrong. We as kids, had what we needed as far a necessities, but to squander our money away, was not in our vocabulary. He saved every dime he could. I know my Dad was smart as a whip when it came to reasoning out a solution to any mechanical problem that may come along. Be sure of one thing, we could all benefit from the wisdom that is imparted from our elderly parents if we would listen.

Rule #4-- In a busy world that we live in, take the time to spend with them.

Somehow in our very busy lifestyle, in the back of our minds we assume that it will always be like this. Time keeps marching on. It plays no favorites. We run fast and wonder where it all went. It has been consumed. I joke to my children and tell them that when the day comes that they have to put us in a nursing home, all I ask when they drop us off at the door is please come to a complete stop.It sounds comical, but that is the mentality in which we live in a fast paced world. We take the time for granted as if there is a tomorrow. There are no express warranties in life.

Mom & Dad has long since passed on from this world along with all their knowledge and wisdom. Now the house of so many memories is no longer a hub for the whole family. We have long since slowly drifted in our own direction. It is not the same. No more get-togethers, games, Christmas carols, or the aroma of mama's homemade chili in the cold night air. Once it is gone, there is no bringing it back. It is gone forever. We certainly can't turn back the clock of time. What we can do however, is to enjoy and treasure the time we do have with them while there is still time. Make memories and the best of it while you can. Have you told your aging parents that you love and appreciate them lately?